ITS ME AND YOU

i had always found myself crying at night because of the same damn reason that he didn't loved me the way i loved him. But after months of thinking and enjoying the life as a single, i realized i was missing the joy of falling in love.

is it really joy or am i fooling myself?

i've fallen in love maybe twice or thrice, and never did i really enjoyed the idea of holding someone else's hand just to let everyone know that i'm committed and happy. but i have to say its different now.

my heart belongs to her.

maybe after so much heartaches my heart finally grew tired of hurting and decided to give it another try. she has the sweetest smile, like that of a little girl who had just received her first teddy bear. she perfectly holds my hand, though hers are smaller than mine, still she makes me feel complete.

she have the eyes of an angel and the smile of a devil.

i have fallen in love with a girl who's afraid of big fishes and who loves seeing charlie bitten. she laughs like a naughty boy but giggles like a girl n her pig tails. i just love everything about her. and this time im not ashamed to let everyone know that ive fallen madly in love with the girl who enjoys watching the fireworks with me.

they can say anything.

it would definitely raise some eyebrows but hell do i care. like what we say im happy and aki's gay haha, im just too happy to think of what other people might say about the things i do.

i love my world now, full of hearts and bubbles in shades of pink and blue.
enjoying every moment like what i always do.

Unfairism

there's no such word, but if we can call the religion of the buddhist as buddhism and there's also the islamism according to one of my super bright professors, then i can also use the word unfairism.


i just read a text message from a friend, and she's currently in the pool of sadness after a promised love had flown away from her. she's strong, but it's of no significance, since she seems weak and frail as she looks back on the words that had been said and the vows that had been made. anyone who falls in love usually gets weak and vulnerable. they tend to fight back but would always fall back and be hurt over and over until they realize it's really over.



what if it's not yet over?


to wait or not to wait. its a common question among separated couples, or to those who almost got to that part. they go on with life without each other, but still hoping that someday they'd meet again, and if destiny would still allow, find the joy on being at each other's side. it's kinda boring when you wait for someone to return, if a year is already long, then three is more like an eternity, so is it still smart to wait if all you've got is a promise that he'll be back?



i dare you to be happy


you can always find new joy. i won't say new love, since im sure he'd be in your heart til you can look at him straight in the eye without blinking a tear. but you have a lot of things to concentrate on while you try forgetting the memories he'd left you with. you can either keep it or throw it away. and i swear i won't blame you if you choose not to trash it, its the happiest moments of your life if im not mistaken you did find joy in loving him.



my judgement is still fair. but love is but unfair.


i am not in the postion to tell you to stop loving him and it will be more of an unfriendly advice if i'll tell to continue loving him coz im sure you'll be hurting yourself over and over. just let me ask you to think about it...relax and let time heal every wound. love him as long as you can...but let go when you think its already a waste of time.




smile.cry.laugh.love.and.live





we're here for you no matter what.
UNFAIRISM, its when you believe that loving is unfair and letting go is a good thing.

B.E.A.M. means smile

im lucky to have such a wonderful creature
that i dont even have to hurry and be unsure.
im not looking for a life time commitment,
just happiness while i breathe and much contentment.


bheibhie, a term i use to express my happiness. i dont know if we'd last forever, but im willing to love you as long as you're willing to love me back. but if in case you have to let go, i wont stop you nor cry for you coz i have been experiencing the most wonderful things with you that if that farewell day will come, then i'll be ready and composed. no tears but no smile as well. i'll be sad, but i'll be happy too, for you will surely grow away from me.

just please let's not stop here,not now, coz im having a great time with you.

amazed

i just read a journal, and guess what, im actually jealous, jealous not of someone but of the time. i wish i met her way before, not just now but years ago, maybe that way i won't be thinking that what we have is just for a while. i dont even want to think that we already have it, but i'd be happy to think that in a way i am special to someone, not just a friend at least but someone who makes her smile.

im afraid, not of falling in love but of getting hurt. i've used this blog mainly for practicing my grammar and writing skill, but now i'd like to use this to take it all out.

im in love, but not to the usual kind, im still not certain if i can say this loud, but im inlove, im not sure if this is really it, but as much as i know im happy and i hope others understand me. i love being like this, not actually thinking of how others may think and maybe being around her makes me a little less coward, i dont want to use the word brave coz am still not. but now i can show half of the real me. i even told my friends about how i feel and they did agree that i look happier now and because of that, they still love me, and so i thank them for that.

i love being me, i don't know how long but one thing's for sure, i love you, and i'd be more than happy to spend my last year with you, dont get me wrong, last year in college. thanks.

hate this

my mind's playing tricks on me, and my heart's prickling in pain.


my imaginations are too real, i can see smiling faces from a distant, not because they are happy for what is happening to me, but because they've planned this way before.
they have sent you to break me once again.


im not sure if this is right, or im just exaggerating things...but im really scared.
scared that if i fall for you, you'd suddenly laugh your head off and reach for your reward. you played a game with me so you and your friends could kill time, yeah its the funniest thing to do eh?


i didn't want to love anyone in the first place, but destiny insisted? or im just stupid to think it that way. you will never fall for someone like me, this may be degrading to thyself, but isn't it true that you will never fall for me?


so here i am thinking again, am i being fair? or it is more appropriate if i just forget about you and forget about us.


i wanna live.

BALANCER

just to balance my account...
my last post can now be disregarded. the things that happened during that day is now part of my past. It was actually fun but i feel happier now, i feel better not bitter and of all that has been happening in my life, my last year in college can be on of my most unforgettable. that is as of now, but like what she says, i hope we won't end up just another used to be, hai

i am happy.
no need for explanations.
tc.