BLINDFOLDED

the bus i was riding on my way home had hit somehing or someone. I was sleeping and was unaware, it was a loud bang and I jerked forward.

I then realized, I was afraid to die.

John Doe and i were having conversations in a piece of paper, he wrote down crazy stuffs and i would write back with the craziest things in my head. then we reached the topic of dying, DEATH, as others say it.

"the true master of death, harry, is the one who is not afraid to face death when he comes" - Proffesor Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows

I said, i believed that i can be a master of death since im not really that scared to leave this earth and forget about everything. I can die now, with a grin in my face. i have been going through alot of problems since i learned how to read and write and i have learned to accept that life is unfair that no one is really subjected to happiness. unless you die.

He wasn't afraid of dying, but was afraid of not being there for her. John Doe got me there. he was right, no one is really afraid to stop breathing, but rather, they were afraid to leave the people they love behind, they were all afraid to miss the wonderful things that life has been offering.

and so i nod.

smiled.

and agreed.

He was pertaining to the girl who showed her what love really was after he broke up with my friend. He really looks happy in the photos and with the way he says her name in front of her ex's friends, he's enjoying her. And this happiness made him HATE DEATH, because he'd lose her if he dies and he didn't want that to happen.

I HATE DEATH.

it still is my favorite line taken from my favorite book, but the idea of mastering death, of not being afraid to die, i hate it now. i love being with my family and i love spending time with my friends and her. i don't want to put a stop on what i think as the most unforgettable moments in my life, at least not now.

i am hurting, and it makes me want to like death again.

she'll be leaving, and i guess it was really meant to be like that. she made me fall for her, and now that i love her, it will be so hard to say goodbye. i don't want to, but i am willing to wait.

I HATE DEATH FOR NOT COMING TOO SOON.